Times-Herald

SENSE & SENSITIVTY

14-year-old daughter has poor body image

By Harriette Cole

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14year-old daughter has come to me with a troubling question. She asked me if it is OK not to like her body. I did not have a response because I was scared that anything I said to her could irreparably change how she views herself. What do you think I can say to my daughter to help her love herself again?

Body Positivity

DEAR BODY POSITIVITY: This is the time to ask your daughter questions. Be gentle as you talk to her. Do not interrogate. Ask questions and listen carefully. Do not pass judgment. Just hear her and let her know that you are hearing her. Among the questions you may want to ask: How do you feel? What don’t you like about your body? Is there anything that you do like? Have you always felt this way? Did anything happen to make you feel this way?

Since your daughter is 14, chances are, her body is changing dramatically. She is an adolescent. Her hormones could easily be causing her to have mood swings that may be impacting her body image.

Think about how you felt about yourself when you were her age. Did you ever feel uncomfortable in your skin? If you can recall awkward moments, ask her if you can tell her things about your life. She may be able to relate to your stories as she considers her own.

If it seems that she needs more support than you have to offer, schedule a meeting with an adolescent psychologist who can help her work through her thoughts and feelings.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my neighbor is stalking me. Every time I go jogging in the morning, he happens to be going the same route as me no matter what time I go, and when I get home from work — around 9 p.m. — he always seems to be waiting for me at the front gate to smoke. Do you think this is just a coincidence, or should I take this more seriously?

Neighbor Problems

DEAR NEIGHBOR PROBLEMS: Greet your neighbor pleasantly, but do not engage in extra or prolonged conversations. Alter your jogging route in the morning. If he detours when you do, take note. But you can also tell him when you begin your run that you prefer to run alone. Put on headphones to demonstrate that you do not want to engage. When you come home at night, say hello and good evening and keep moving.

For extra insurance, install motion-sensor cameras outside your door so that you can observe if your neighbor is snooping around. It could be that he is otherwise bored and finds you interesting. Keep alert. If his patterns change and he becomes more assertive, ask him to give you some space. You may also consider inviting another neighbor to buddy up with you when you run.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAM LEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams.)

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2021-05-18T07:00:00.0000000Z

2021-05-18T07:00:00.0000000Z

https://thnews.pressreader.com/article/281638193099761

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